Three plus years ago when my Parkinson diagnosis began to become real, meaning I could actually see my decline, I spent some time in prayer asking God why all this suffering? My eyes were opened to the reality of the multitude of body systems affected by this looming monster. Self-pity sprang onto the stage. Not fair, not fair. Why did it seem I was “getting” each ailment I read about. I became so paranoid for a brief period I refused to read anything about Parkinson Disease fearing if I learned about it I would “get” it! Well, guess what-that was the opposite of God’s view. One morning during my devotions it was whispered into my heart this statement: “You can not write about something of which you have not experienced.”Really? Does that include “DBS”? Surely not I reasoned. Wrong again. On a checklist of 14 procedures; today I completed number three.preparing for DBS!
- Discussion with Movement Disorder Provider concerning DBS.
- Neuropsychological Evaluation -6 plus hours of cognitive evaluation testing memory, attention, language, and other brain functions. (I felt like a limp dishrag when that was completed and honestly didn’t think I passed it, but the administrator said I did fine, although he did look a bit frazzled and appeared GLAD I was done!
- OFF/ON medication evaluation. Off my Parkinson medication for 5 hours then went to my Neurologist’s office to be tested while free from Parkinson meds in my system, then given meds and retested. Very hard to do-like a heroine addict going off their drug for 5 hours. Yikes! I am truly addicted! I was surprised, when the neurologist gave me permission to take the meds how I practically knocked Hunter down to get to the meds he was holding for me greedily grabbed the bottle as though he might withhold it from me!
- Neurosurgery evaluation-1 hour
- Pre-Op Planning MRI-1 hour
- Pre-Admission Test (PAT)-1 hour
- Stage 1 surgery 6-8 hours
- Stage 2 surgery 1-2 hours
- Wound check
- 1st programming 2-3 hours
- 2nd programming 1-2 hours
- Post-op appointment
- Neurology/DBS Programming (1st year)
- Neurology/DBS Programming (2nd Year)
I know several who have taken this rough road and are doing well and others who have had some challenges. I even asked one of the surgeons, who actually looked the age of one of my grandkids; “How many of these procedures have you done successfully? “
He quickly smiled and answered 50, which gave me a bit more confidence. After all, I will be depending on him to treat my brain with respect as he pokes around in it to locate the exact points that need to be overridden. Its a matter of neurons firing when they should not be firing because of a lack of dopamine.
I’ve been thinking about that word depend. I am going to have to depend on a number of people for this procedure to be successful: my surgeon, my neurologist, several DBS nurses, my anesthesiologist, and my husband. Yet the one I should be depending on daily is Jesus- my rock and my redeemer. Apart from abiding in Christ, nothing can be accomplished.
John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing!”
I’m reminded that spiritual life and growth do not come from human effort but from staying closely connected to Him!
It’s easy to slip from that connection, especially when under stress. One of my greatest weaknesses is depending too much on my smart husband. He has all the answerers, at least I’d like to think that to be true. Yet the other night, as I lay next to his warm sleeping body, I realized my true and final dependance should be in Jesus! He is the one providing the peace that only He can give and that I desperately need!
Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation (even DBS) by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
