Spiritual Warfare

 The bedroom was dark, dark as ink! The feeling-a heaviness as a wet wool blanket draped over my shoulders.What was happening?  Snoring beside me indicated my husband was unaware of what I was experiencing. Slipping out from under a warm comforter I stood motionless attempting to clear my foggy brain. By touch I located my recliner and lowered myself into its comfort. As I adjusted my sight I realized I was experiencing a vision.

 (A vision is different than a dream. A dream is images, ideas, emotions all occurring involuntarily in your mind while you sleep. In contrast a vision is being in an overwhelming, trancelike sensation while awake. You might call it a “waking dream’. These are my definitions as having experienced both; many dreams and two visions. You can define these terms as you like.)

 

As I gathered my thoughts I knew prayer was essential. I lowered my body to rest on my knees and prayed by my bed until I felt strong enough to face what was lurking behind the bedroom door. When I eventually twisted the silver knob I was shocked by what I saw-not the living room with its overstuffed white couch and wooden kitchen table but instead an army barracks with several sets of bunkbeds. As I stared at the beds I recognized I was peering into Christian’s, my grandson’s, army barracks. During the summer he was stationed at a military base training center to train for the National Guard unit of the Army.  As I focused more closely on the individual beds, to my horror, I was fixated on what I saw as a “being” for lack of a better word, with green, piercing eyes set in an ugly, slimy face producing a shrill hissing sound. Honestly It appeared to be a moldy rug come to life!Only one bed did not have one of these creatures lurking under it and that was Christian’s bed. It was an empty spot almost asking for an occupant and several of these creatures were poised to jettison their slimy bodies into that space claiming it and the body above it as their possession. Well, not on my watch!!

I dropped to my knees and pleaded with God to send a warrior angel to do battle with these creepy beings. No sooner had the plea left my lips then a huge angel appeared at the head of Christian’s bed complete with a glistening sword poised to do battle if the situation required it. Thankfully the slimy creatures slithered back into the corners of the room and slid under the floorboards and away. Christian continued to soundly sleep while I  reverently backed out of the room and headed to my bed. Covered in nervous sweat I lay down only to give praise and thanksgiving continually until my body drifted off to sleep. For weeks I didn’t share this vision with anyone as I knew their reaction and I was not ready to be viewed as “one of those”. Recently I opened up to a few good friends and to Christian. Although he could not remember any exact event that might have triggered this encounter he did share that in the course of his training there were a number of illegal items smuggled into the barracks: drugs, cigarettes, etc. He was thankful for the prayers because he was not cornered into experimenting with anything illegal as others were.  

For me this experience gave me another glimpse into the “spiritual realm” and bolstered my resolve to pray for my grandchildren. Satan will never give up, so it is our responsibility to strengthen our loved ones with the soothing balm of prayer! Our children need our prayers not just in the military but in school, on the playground, in the neighborhood, etc.

This privilege and responsibility comes with a caveat; Satan will attack more and more as he identifies those who are praying. So beware that as you work more for God Satan will attack you more. I’ve experienced this phenomenon recently as he ramps up my disease and tries to pull me down into the muddy pit of despair. But I have vowed not to succumb to his tactics. My children, grand-children, great grand children, and other loved ones I pray for daily are too special and worth the extra pain. 

I challenge my readers to pray non-stop for your respective circle of friends and family.

Use Ephesians 6 to prepare yourselves daily for the battle! Put on the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the “shoes” of peace, Pick up the shield of faith. Put on the helmet of salvation. Grab the sword of the spirit-the Bible (God’s Word) and head out the door, equipped to defeat our enemy!!

P.S. As I prepare to publish this blog Satan is extremely angry with me. So to retaliate he is causing me to fight nausea and breathing difficulties at the same time! He’s clever but not all powerful as is God. I’m remembering 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

Not Again!

 No! No! Not again! Breathing is shallow, fighting  panic, in-out-talk to yourself-close your eyes and attempt to relax— battling with  Respiratory Dyskinesia, for me, a daily unwanted companion.

Respiratory dyskinesia : is a rare condition causing muscle spasms or abnormal movements in the diaphragm and chest wall.

You feel as though you can’t breathe-as though someone is gently holding a pillow over your face, can’t get your full load of oxygen- chest discomfort is painful breathing. This generally occurs when you’ve taken too much levodopa/carbidopa. Unfortunately you seldom can predict when it will arrive. Needed is a gauge and a little red  flashing light implanted on the chest warning that your numbers are getting too high. Unfortunately no such device exists or will ever exist!

I thought it would be helpful for those who are interested to define a few PD terms. I forget that everyone is not fluent in PD “language”. I am choosing a few terms that will pertain to me now and in the future in case you want to follow my bumpy road..

Dyskinesia, as listed in the previous paragraph is a life alternating side effect of PD medication that causes erratic, involuntary movements. For the “average” PD person (not me, of course, I get to “enjoy” the rare one!) It is generally seen in the legs and arms. If you have recently watched  Michael J. Fox  in any TV or movie performance you  better understand this enemy!

“On” and “Off” periods-fluctuations in how well medication controls symptoms throughout the day.  

        “On" periods occur when Parkinson's medications are working effectively, allowing for easier movement, reduced tremors, stiffness, and better overall function. On lookers might not even recognize you as a Parkinson “person”!

    "Off" periods occur when medication looses its effectiveness between doses, causing motor and non-motor symptoms to return or worsen. In my experience as the disease progresses you experience more of the “off, than the on.” And believe me everyone who sees you knows you have the shaking disease!

Bradykinesia - is an abnormal slowness of movement and a progressive reduction in speed during your everyday activities.

It becomes more difficult to button a shirt, brush your teeth, or go up and down the stairs. Although it appears to be a muscle weakness it is not. Rather it is caused by a reduction in dopamine that affects how the nerve cells “talk” to the muscles.

Freezing- (or better known as “freezing of gait”)is a brief motor block-a temporary inability to move. It often occurs when walking through a doorway. Episodes are brief but greatly increase the chance of a fall. I’m experiencing them more and more as I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It sometimes fascinates me as I stand on one side of the doorway gazing down at the threshold talking to my feet. 

“Move it guys!”

 Like a company of little soldiers they eventually will march to the commode but not always on time to avoid the “rain”.

 “Sweetheart,  I need you!”

DBS stands for Deep Brain Stimulation. This is a surgical treatment that uses an implanted medical device to send electrical signals to specific areas of the brain. Two holes are drilled in the skull, followed by the insertion of wire maneuvered down through the brain matter to the “center” of the brain. They are attached to a “box” you wear under the skin near your collarbone, similar to a pacemaker. The device is then “controlled” by doctors and your iPhone. A very simplistic explanation and if interested AI has a much improved definition. That is about the extent of my knowledge at this point. If this seems “Greek” to you, imagine how it appears to Me!

 I am daily quoting 1 Peter 5:7 in my head: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” And Joshua 1:9 : “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

He will provide what I need, when I need it. For example, I have a new friend who has already walked this path. She doesn’t live here but is just a phone call away. I am thankful I can call her and shed my concerns on her listening ear. 

A couple more verses to take to heart: “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart,(even when there seems no answer), and lean not on your own understanding (even that of your doctor), in ALL your ways acknowledge Him (to whomever asks how you can tolerate this dragon) and He shall direct your paths (every single one of them). Proverbs 3:5-6